BDSM for Beginners

…you have no BDSM experience yet, or only a little.

… …you’re curious about the world of BDSM.

… …you’re looking for first impulses and insights into BDSM without going into practice.

BDSM can hardly be explained in two sentences—the field is far too diverse: styles of play, dynamics, intensities, fantasies, and settings are all interconnect. In our “BDSM for Beginners” workshop, we’ll give you clear orientation and a safe framework for getting started.

This evening is for anyone who’s curious but hasn’t found a good starting point yet, as well as for anyone who wants to understand BDSM beyond clichés.

You’ll get answers to questions such as:

• What belongs to the field of BDSM?
• Which clichés are particularly persistent—and what, if anything, is true about them?
• Which terms come up again and again, and what do they mean in practice?
• How do you get started in a way that feels safe, respectful, and right for you?
• What should newcomers know first?

The focus is on input and context. Jay and Sir Chris are active in different areas of BDSM and share real-life experience—as examples and perspectives, not as “this is how it has to be.” That way, you get orientation without limiting yourself.

You can let the content sink in at your own pace and then decide how—and whether—you want to explore further. If you’d like, we’ll give you concrete ideas and resources to take with you.

A central part is consent:
How do we negotiate desires and boundaries? What does “informed consent” mean in concrete terms in a BDSM context? How do safewords and check-ins work—and why is aftercare the key for many experiences?

Whether you’re drawn to dominance or submission, whether you want to start gently or are looking for intensity: you’re welcome. We’re looking forward to seeing you.

The “BDSM for Beginners” workshop has the following structure:

• Arriving: framework, how we interact, safer space principles
• BDSM 101: terms, myths, basic concepts
• The diversity of BDSM: styles of play, dynamics, settings, intensities
• Why BDSM: needs, motivations, the role of the nervous system
• Consent & safety: negotiation, boundaries, safewords/check-ins, aftercare
• Finding your way in: first steps, communication tools, resources for home
• Open Q&A: 30 minutes for anything you want to know

Price: €25

Book your ticket here via Eventfrog or message us on JoyClub for your JoyClub discount.

• Curiosity
• comfortable clothing (whatever you feel good in)
• something to write with (if you’d like to take notes)

The workshop will be held in German.

Jay and Chris are the people behind Refugium—and also the kinksters behind the BDSM Studio Refugium Divine (in the same building). They share their experience honestly, thoughtfully, and as equals.

Sir Chris
An empathetic Dom with a strong love of play and experimentation. He combines clarity, humor, and presence—and shapes intensity as conscious, consensual play.

Jay Stark
Fetish escort and switch with lots of insight into different dynamics. For Jay, it’s important to break down prejudice and make BDSM visible as a diverse field—beyond shame and clichés.